alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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