So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
It's just like the Real World with babies
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
