the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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