4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
