Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
