I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
