Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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