I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Shame - the story of my life.
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