Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just invented taco cereal.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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