oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I am one with the molecules
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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