If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize