just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
