It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
