Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
