I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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