omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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