Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
