I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
