fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize