her vagine was all disorganized.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
