I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize