my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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