i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
