Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
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