she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
