never play flip cup with pint glasses
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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