we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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