We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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