well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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