Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
