This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
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You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
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I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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