I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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