In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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