We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
And then he peed in my hair
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