You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
