I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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