Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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