She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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