I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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