That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
