I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.