I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.