it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.