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• (816): View more from Missouri

  His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  Ridin mah bike see you on the moon

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• (352): View more from Florida

  You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (949): View more from California

  You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?

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• (789): View more from

  Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I think they're German

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just say lederhosen and see what happens

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (206): View more from Washington

  No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  he had hair everywhere except his balls

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• (727): View more from Florida

  You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.

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