His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
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You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
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No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.