A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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