can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
