You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
