Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
how do you play pong handcuffed?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize