Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
