I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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