All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just pee around me
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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