do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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