operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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