i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
They are going to name an STD after you.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
