shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize