he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
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But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
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And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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