so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
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While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize