In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Pants 0. Shit 1.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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