If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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