We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
