he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
